All I can really say is that I did everything I could and for awhile I really was on top.
Now I've sort of reduced myself down to things I've wanted for a few months, things I thought I was over years ago and things that help me briefly forget the messes I keep making or getting caught up it.
On the drive home the other night I was thinking over how stupid and pathetic it is and was of me to go as fast as I was but it felt right and I needed it after the year plus I'd just been through. I feel better - I really do. I'm not sure if this is/was a temporary fix or something I'm going to hate myself for in a few months but I do know that continuing to worry about it isn't going to help.
I tried really hard and I did more than I ever thought I could.
Can't win them all, Mike.
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