All Chorus

"I'm the last man standing, oh shit, I'm all alone."

I know I wrote earlier but it was half-assed because I was playing NFL2K5. That game froze, irritated the shit out of me for an hour or so and now I'm full, tipsy and ready to ramble. are you? trick question, you have no obligation to read this. This is going to be rather lengthy, I've got a ton of shit to say and Angela encouraged me to write a lot.

Where to start?
Last night at around 10pm, Gabby decided it'd be an awesome idea to Facebook IM and question my Tweet about how Courtney's was closed on 4/20 because they're all a bunch of potheads. As it turns out, Courtney's is closed 'every' monday. Who knew? not me. She then preceded to go back in time to a blog or two ago where I make some reference, in detail, to her cheating on me with Chris. She told me how the 'cops are next.', even though I have complete freedom over what I write in these things and I said nothing threatening to or about her. After that argument she went on to tell me how I won't like it when she starts saying bad things about me on her page and I just preceded to tell her that if she can find one bad thing about me, she should go ahead and write about it. "Mike drinks too much." "Mike says 'fuck' too much." "Mike is creepy." There you go, Gabby, not only did I save you time but I also used proper grammar. Too bad you deleted me so you can't force yourself to read this shit anymore.

On to you,
Thank you for everything, thank you for helping me feel comfortable again, thank you for restoring confidence in me and thank you for keeping me busy for such a short, short time. It means the world, seriously, and I'm not bitter. Shit happens, things pan out. Wrong place, wrong time I guess.

One of the many things I've learned from being around Paul a lot is that he is heavily vested in the things he cares about and the things he's good at. I sort of want to take a cue from him and write more enough - even if it's scattered thoughts like these blogs. I don't have much I care about or that I'm interested. I like making money and saving enough money to live off of - I'm on top of that. I love football and I cover that atleast 3 times an hour and I love conversation and with a mix of my old and recent friends, I almost always have that covered. I like writing, I like having everything out there and I like leaving very little for you wonder about me. I'm going to try to make it atleast an everyday thing.

Why do I do that?
I figure that over the last 5 months more than enough people have told me I'm a 'great' or 'amazing' guy and person, maybe I should throw myself out there and so instead of waiting for people to notice me, they'll already have it literally at their fingertips.
Has it worked? Fuck no, no one new has came along and no old 'friend' has wondered 'how I'm doing' but you know what, it beats the alternative of feeling like I'm not trying to help myself out.

I am a networker. I Tweet constantly, I am very active on Facebook and I browse my myspace all of the time. I write atleast one 'blog' a day somewhere saying how I feel or something relative to how I'm doing. I am out there, I am trying and it hurts a little bit that almost every person I hang out with falls in love with the 'alive, quiet, silly' me but the people who can see every part of me on the internet choose not to.


I'm glad you all read these and I'm glad that I have the 2 or 3 people I have in my life that I can count on but you know what? I'm not so concerned anymore. Good things have to come to me and perhaps good things will come to me but in the mean time...I have my friends, I have my thoughts, I have my beer and you guys know where I live. Always welcome, door is always open. You all already know me, let me know you. Let me see past your face, reputation and internet hobbies...because for a lot of you, thats all I know.