I've said this to a few people recently and it was sort of shrugged off but after a painful 3 hour conversation last night it became even more clear to me.

I'm a total mess and I don't mean the sort of mess I was when I said this a few months ago, I mean its getting really tough. I see my closest friends and I can barely paying attention to what their saying, not because of what their saying or who they are, but because I'm just completely disinterested in everything because work has completely taken over my life and my mind. My days 'off' are spent dreading the next day I've got to work and every week I keep telling myself "it'll get better next week when I have a few days off" and then of course I get the call that I have to work another 3-6 day stretch because my coworkers who have worked considerably less than me 'need' to take 2 week vacations. Maybe this would be fair if I made a half of what they do, but I don't.

I've put myself in this situation. I'm a total pushover and I do anything anyone wants me to.

The only good that has came out of this is that I have a great amount of money saved, more money than most people are able to put as a down-payment on their homes.

The down sides are that I've hurt the few people who really care and love me and I don't have any time to do the few things I like doing.

I can't hurt you anymore and I can't allow myself to be the one to drag you down, I'm sorry and I'm going to suck it up. I forced myself into this.