You can tell I'm over-tired, I'm sure.

Fun fact?
I've tried to write this four times today and I've gotten lost after the first few lines almost every time. I haven't liked much that I've written lately because when I'm feeling good and I'm kept busy, I don't have much to bitch about. Who wants to read about someone being happy all of the time? I don't.

Regardless, there are still numerous voids in life and the future still hangs over my head like a black cloud. Fortunately for me, I'm still stuck in 'be happy in the moment' mood and its working out great. Last month and this month have been two of my best months financially in a long time and I haven't been this happy emotionally since, fuck, 2 or 3 years ago - and I consider that part of my life a phase, at this point.

I think another reason I haven't written much lately is because I found someone who makes me want to talk these things out instead of turning them all into sentences. It's a blessing and perhaps a curse. What if there is something I need/want to say that I shouldn't? There isn't anyway I'd hold it inside, I never can. I love the honesty and I love that I just don't fucking care anymore but I hate hurting peoples feelings. I'm sorry I don't like most people and I'm sorry I don't like most things but you can't get beat up about it. Trust me, I feel like I'm an amazing person but you wouldn't want my life. I set things up to be like this, I DO want it this way.

I'm going away for a week on the 30th, I'm sort of excited because it'll be nice to have a week with nothing set in stone and a new environment but I'm a bit skeptical because you all know I love having everything planned out. That is another thing I'm learning to adjust to pretty quickly because while I do have most of my week planned out, things change and nothing is really confirmed and I'm getting comfortable with it. I have certain things I keep on a weekly agenda and they usually get done. Still haven't read Paul's screenplay but I did write my 'story.'

I prefer writing like this, you know, just talking. Whatever I want to say next I can, it doesn't have to have anything to do with what I wrote before it. I love structure more than most people I know but when I talk and when I write, I want to say whatever the fuck I want to say about anyone I know. I want them to read it, I want them to feel it and I want them to know how I feel because you'll never win any battles keeping feelings buried inside of you. Do you want to lose battles all of the time? Losing sucks, man.

Also, completely unrelated, Jason Fletcher wants to kick my ass. This dude is an idiot and all he did was contradict himself when 'threatening' me. Typically I'd be scared but, fuck, this kid is like 16 and he has a fucking Fox Racing tattoo.
SERIOUSLY. A Fox Racing tattoo.
Can't make that shit up.

Enjoy life, guys. Don't worry about the petty shit(like Jason Fletcher trying to be witty via text message) and treat everyone you meet the way you want to be treated.

It feels great being a "good" guy.